So, in under twenty-four hours Chelsea will line up against Inter Milan in Los Angeles – the first time we will come up against a Jose Mourinho side since he left the club in 2007. I for one am looking forward to the game, if only as an opportunity to relive some of the Mourinho magic.
Always entertaining, I remember in particular the press conference where he correctly identified Barcelona’s starting eleven ahead of the second leg tie, and the time when he took offence at journalists asking banal questions rather than asking about his team (when they finally did ask him he told them it was too late and left with a grin). Jose always said what us fans wanted to hear – he backed the players and club at the right time and mocked the right opposition managers and players, all the while throwing in a heavy dose of comedy along the way. On the few occasions where we lost a game under his management, you could rely on Jose to say something that would somehow make it a little better. Realise this is reading like a eulogy, but bear with me…
So what better way to prepare for the Inter game than to look back at some of Jose’s best moments at Chelsea – inevitably in front of the press. There are absolutely too many to include, but I’ve dug out some of my favourite Mourinho quotes.
On being special: “I’m not a defender of old or new football managers. I believe in good ones and bad ones, those that achieve success and those that don’t. Please don’t call me arrogant, but I’m European champion and I think I’m a special one.”
On achieving success: “We are on top at the moment but not because of the club’s financial power. We are in contention for a lot of trophies because of my hard work.”
On the UK's love for the blues: “Everybody was waiting for Chelsea not to win every game and one day, when we lose, there will be a holiday in the country. But we are ready for that.”
On Chelsea’s injury crisis in February 2007: “It is like having a blanket that is too small for the bed. You pull the blanket up to keep your chest warm and your feet stick out. I cannot buy a bigger blanket because the supermarket is closed. But I am content because the blanket is cashmere.”
On Chelsea’s melons: “Young players are a little bit like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100 per cent sure that the melon is good."
On liberté in France:“Makelele is not a football player - Makelele is a slave. He’s played the biggest game you can, the World Cup final, and now wants to retire but the coach told us if he is not playing for France, he is not playing for Chelsea. We know the rules. You are a slave, you have no human rights.”
On Ricky complaining about being left out: “Carvalho seems to have problems understanding things, maybe he should have an IQ test, or go to a mental hospital or something.”
In the aftermath of Cech’s head injury: “There are still other things which concern me (and) leave me in a very emotional situation. If my goalkeeper dies in that dressing room it is something English football has to think about. It looks like what I did against Liverpool that ’shut up’ was a nightmare. I think this is a real nightmare, a real nightmare. I would like somebody to tell me why my goalkeeper was put in this situation for 30 minutes.”
On squad rotation: “Why drive Aston Martin all the time, when I have Ferrari and Porsche as well? That would just be stupid.”
On Arsenal’s 5-4 win over Spurs: “That was not a football score, it was a hockey score…in training I often play matches of three against three and when the score reaches 5-4 I send the players back to the dressing room, because they are not defending properly.”
On Barcelona: “In 200 years of history they have won the European Cup only once. I have been managing for a few years and I have already won the same amount.”
On Messi’s antics against Chelsea in the Champions League: “How do you say ‘cheating’ in Catalan?”
On Wenger: “I think he is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea.”
On Rijkaard: “My history as a manager cannot be compared with Frank Rijkaard’s history. He has zero trophies and I have a lot of them…”
On Cruyff’s criticism of Chelsea’s style: “I don’t want him to teach me how to lose 4-0 in a Champions League final because I don’t want to learn that.”
On Ferguson and Wenger: “If they don’t touch me, I won’t touch anyone. If they touch me, I’ll be ready to hit back even harder.”
On being god: “If I wanted to have an easy job… I would have stayed at Porto - beautiful blue chair, the Champions League trophy, God, and after God, me.”
On pressure: “Pressure? There is no pressure. Bird Flu is pressure. No, you laugh, but I am being serious. I am more worried about the swan then I am about football.”
On playing the tambourine: “The moral of the story is not to listen to those who tell you not to play the violin but stick to the tambourine.”
On UEFA calling him the enemy of football:“Mr Roth has two ways out, apologise or it goes to court.”
On his dog’s dodgy health certification: “The dog is fine in Portugal - that big threat is away - you don’t have to worry about crime anymore.”
On being under the thumb: "It all depends on my wife. If I am at home, yes, I will see it. But maybe my wife would like to go somewhere. I would like to see it (Arsenal v. Utd) - it is a big game. But maybe I will have no permission."
On Gallas missing the pre-season trip to the US: "As you know Gallas had an unbelievable holiday. I hope he enjoyed it very much in Guadeloupe, which I think is a fantastic place to be on holiday, so he wanted to stay there for a long time."
On Graham Poll: "If you ask me if I jump with happiness when I know Mr Poll is our referee? No."
On Benitez: "Three years without a Premiership title? I don't think I would still be in a job."
We miss you, Jose. Any Jose quotes or memories that I’ve missed? Post a comment.
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